What Ayn Rand Never Knew

As a young man, I was an enthusiastic devotee of Ayn Rand.

Reading her philosophical novels Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead strengthened my belief in free markets, individual liberty and the inspirational power of art.

Rand’s radical independence – she swore that she would never live her life for the sake of another person – seemed downright heroic.

She argued that it was not just unwise but immoral to sacrifice your interests for someone else, that the only ethical stance was to trade value for value.

However, this mindset assumes that everyone is born with equal capabilities, raised in identical circumstances and treated the same by society. Look around and you’ll see that’s not the case.

It also assumes that human relationships are no different from business transactions.

Rand may have believed these things, in part, because she was childless. (As was I when I first read her books.)

As I got older – and became a father – I realized that most parents would gladly take a bullet for their children’s sake. Not because they are altruists but because they are parents.

Rand also had a reputation for being ill-tempered and egotistical. And she bore grudges. (“She wanted me dead,” her former paramour Nathaniel Branden told me over dinner one night.)

Hmm. Perhaps there were other role models… better ones.

In Soul Food, Jack Kornfield and Christina Feldman tell the story of an Illinois family whose young daughter became ill and was diagnosed with a life-threatening blood disease.

A search went out for a compatible donor but, as she had a rare blood type, none could be found. Then it was discovered that her 6-year-old brother shared her blood type. The boy’s mother and doctor sat down with him to ask if he was willing to donate blood to save his sister’s life.

To their surprise, he didn’t answer right away. He needed some time to think about it. After a few days, he came back to his mother and announced he would do it.

As Kornfield and Feldman write:

The following day the doctor brought both children to his clinic and placed them on cots next to each other. He wanted them to see how one was helping the other. First he drew a half pint of blood from the young boy’s arm. Then he moved it over to his sister’s cot and inserted the needle so her brother could see the effect. In a few minutes color began to pour back into her cheeks.

Then the boy motioned for the doctor to come over. He wanted to ask a question, very quietly

“Will I start to die right away?” he asked.

You see, when he had been asked to donate his blood to save his sister’s life, his 6-year old mind understood the process literally.

He thought he was trading his life for his sister’s. No wonder he needed a few days to mull it over.

In today’s society, selflessness is often regarded as naïve or idealistic, an outdated virtue promoted by do-gooders and busybodies.

But those who focus solely on themselves have their own set of problems. For starters, many of them don’t look terribly happy.

One of the primary symptoms of depression is self-absorption. Depressed people tend to ruminate excessively about themselves and their feelings. When they detect sadness, they project it across all their activities and into the future. This, in turn, increases their unhappiness.

Cognitive therapists have found that a regimen of goal-setting and thought modification is more effective with some patients than antidepressants. The objective is to get the patient looking upward and outward rather than obsessively inward.

This is no easy task. From infancy, we are programmed to think about our wants, our needs, our feelings, our objectives.

This is natural. But it can also be problematic – and embarrassing. When we get wrapped up in ourselves, we make a pretty small package. We also risk becoming a crashing bore.

To a certain extent, we are all held captive by our egos. Rand thought this was a good thing. Yet the ancient sages taught the very opposite.

Taoism suggests we extend our help without seeking reward. Buddha said that contentment is found in a generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion. The New Testament tells us it is more blessed to give than to receive.

Many secular philosophers agree. In Breaking the Spell, Daniel Dennett writes:

One of the best secrets of life: let your self go. If you can approach the world’s complexities, both its glories and its horrors, with an attitude of humble curiosity, acknowledging that however deeply you have seen, you have only just scratched the surface, you will find worlds within worlds, beauties you could not heretofore imagine, and your own mundane preoccupations will shrink to proper size… for if you can stay centered, and engaged, you will find the hard choices easier, the right words will come to you when you need them, and you will indeed be a better person.

Carpe Diem,

Alex