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To view Episode 45 of Survive and Thrive, “This Is Why the World Has United,” click here.
To view Episode 44 of Survive and Thrive, “How to Thrive in Uncertain Markets (4 Questions),” click here.
To view Episode 43 of Survive and Thrive, “Five Keys to a Happy Retirement,” click here.
To view Episode 42 of Survive and Thrive, “Start Trusting Yourself,” click here.
To view Episode 41 of Survive and Thrive, “Make the Most of the Holidays,” click here.
To view Episode 40 of Survive and Thrive, “How Much Should You Invest?” click here.
To view Episode 39 of Survive and Thrive, “Getting the Kids Interested in Investing,” click here.
To view Episode 38 of Survive and Thrive, “The Real Way to Fight Fear,” click here.
To view Episode 37 of Survive and Thrive, “A Fear of Finances,” click here.
To view Episode 36 of Survive and Thrive, “You Are Not Alone,” click here. To view Episode 35 of Survive and Thrive, “How to Cut Your Losses,” click here.
To view Episode 34 of Survive and Thrive, “Start Solving All Your Problems,” click here.
To view Episode 33 of Survive and Thrive, “Don’t Panic and Miss Out,” click here.
To view Episode 32 of Survive and Thrive, “Rethink How You Think,” click here.
To view Episode 31 of Survive and Thrive, “A New Type of News,” click here.
To view Episode 30 of Survive and Thrive, “There’s a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow,” click here.
To view Episode 29 of Survive and Thrive, “Use or Be Used,” click here.
To view Episode 28 of Survive and Thrive, “Every Single Moment Matters,” click here.
To view Episode 27 of Survive and Thrive, “‘Christmas’ In Your Portfolio?” click here.
To view Episode 26 of Survive and Thrive, “You Should Not Sell,” click here. To view Episode 25 of Survive and Thrive, “Your Most Harmful Instinct,” click here.
To view Episode 24 of Survive and Thrive, “2021: Sparking Magic Moments,” click here.
To view Episode 23 of Survive and Thrive, “When to Retire,” click here.
To view Episode 22 of Survive and Thrive, “How Grateful Are You?”, click here.
To view Episode 21 of Survive and Thrive, “Let’s Be Realistic,” click here.
To view Episode 20 of Survive and Thrive, “Are You Born With Optimism Bias?,” click here.
To view Episode 19 of Survive and Thrive, “Optimism vs. Pessimism: How to Change How You View Things,” click here.
To view Episode 18 of Survive and Thrive, “Mainstream Media? How to Have an Open Mind and Get the Facts,” click here.
To view Episode 17 of Survive and Thrive, “Levels of Global Population and How It Relates to You,” click here.
To view Episode 16 of Survive and Thrive, “Easy Ways to Reduce Stress – Starting Today,” click here.
To view Episode 15 of Survive and Thrive, “Finding the Helpers in Your Life,” click here.
To view Episode 14 of Survive and Thrive, “How to Create and Best Manage Your Time,” click here.
To view Episode 13 of Survive and Thrive, “Surviving and Thriving Beyond Any Circumstance,” click here.
To view Episode 12 of Survive and Thrive, “How to be Successful while Maintaining a Balanced Life,” click here.
To view Episode 11 of Survive and Thrive, “How to Let Go of Resentment and Suffering,” click here.
To view Episode 10 of Survive and Thrive, “How To Find Happiness In What You Do (Career Satisfaction),” click here.
To view Episode 9 of Survive and Thrive, “6 Simple Steps to Take Back Your Health,” click here.
To view Episode 8 of Survive and Thrive, “Why Are You Here? Finding Purpose,” click here.
To view Episode 7 of Survive and Thrive, “7 Steps to Happiness,” click here.
To view Episode 6 of Survive and Thrive, “The Pursuit of Financial Happiness,” click here.
To view Episode 5 of Survive and Thrive, “Take Control of Your Finances,” click here.
To view Episode 4 of Survive and Thrive, “What to Believe In,” click here.
To view Episode 3 of Survive and Thrive, “Relationships: Your Smartest Investment,” click here.
To view Episode 2 of Survive and Thrive, “How to Overcome Fear,” click here.
To view Episode 1 of Survive and Thrive, “The First Steps to Take Your Power Back,” click here.
Welcome back to Survive and Thrive. I’m Nathan Hurd, Chief Growth Officer with The Oxford Club.
Today, I want to share with you a daily practice I’ve adopted to address what I believe is the most important factor in living a happy, full and rich life. It’s definitely the most important thing for me personally, and I believe it’s the most important thing for every human being.
And that is mental clarity, or mental hygiene.
Let’s face it, if we look through history and around the world today, most of the brutality, suffering, exploitation and destruction comes back to the psychology of one person or group of people, which makes mental hygiene one of the greatest things we can tend to to improve our lives and the lives of those we touch.
Creating mental hygiene, as I’ll explain in a moment, is the key to experiencing our lives fully and making good decisions, especially and including unemotional financial decisions, which I think we can all agree is especially relevant today.
Now, what I’m going to share with you is a process I engage in almost every day. It’s something I’ve come to over time after lots of trial and error. And I’ll tell you, the most effective and contented people I know in the world tend to use some practice like this in their lives.
So I offer this to you as something to try on and modify as it suits you and your personal needs.
Let me also be clear… I’m not suggesting this is a solution to biochemical predispositions, deep depression or anything like that. But I am suggesting that until I started this practice, I was less happy and my life didn’t feel as full. And to the extent that I engage in this practice regularly, it helps me live a richer life and create a more positive impact on the world and the people I meet.
I also believe that many of the large resentments, fears, mental roadblocks and baggage that affect us – and can become quite severe – come from a lack of using some process like this and letting things build up unaddressed.
So if you’re feeling stuck, I think this will help you. If you’re just looking to feel more alive and improve your general state of mind and decision making, to enjoy the moments of your life even more, this will definitely help.
I believe the No. 1 most important thing to human thriving is mental hygiene. The daily practice I use has four steps, each with a very specific purpose. I actually write these things down each day – well, I personally type them into a digital journal – but any form of documentation will do just fine.
The goal of these four steps is to clear out any baggage, limitation or distraction and open up the mind.
So if you’d like to grab a piece of paper, I’ll walk you through them now. I’m going to stop and emphasize each one, but please know, when done regularly this only takes five, 10, 15 minutes tops each day. I’ll also link to a document you can download in the notes.
Alright, so the first step… It’s called priming. You may have heard this concept, but the idea is that you prime your mind by taking a few minutes to acknowledge the gifts in your life. This also prepares for constructively working through the next steps that will come after this.
So step one, priming, is done through gratitude. I take a few minutes and I write five to 10 things I’m grateful for in my life. For me it’s often things that have happened in the last day or two. A morning walk, a moment with my kids, a good conversation with a colleague, a successful business transaction, a tender moment with my wife.
But it can be anything, big or small. The idea is to actually feel each item you write and step back into that moment as you write it for just a second. There’s no one way to do this, so as long as you’re filling yourself up with gratitude during this step, that’s all the matters.
At this point, I move to step two: fears. We all know that fear is a natural part of the human condition. I’m sure you’ve heard people talk about how our human predisposition is to look for what’s wrong. Long ago, fear helped our distant ancestors to literally stay alive each day. But today, our risk of being killed by wild animals or natural disaster is minuscule.
But that part of our brain is still very active, looking, always looking for what to protect us from. And unfortunately, many of the biggest structures that make the world go ‘round capitalize on fear. You know them… governments, media, etc.
So during this second step, I write down any fears that came up in the last 24 hours. Personally, I have seven categories of fear I look for. I write the category, then the fear. And they are… fear of poverty, I mean that fear that comes up when you lose money; fear of criticism, very common one, especially interacting with other people; fear of ill health, pretty pertinent, especially in recent years; fearing a loss of love, that’s huge; fearing a loss of liberty; fear of old age; and fear of death.
Again, I write the category and then the details. That’s how I personally do it. There are many things that can trigger our minds into fear. These fears are normal. But without processing them, they can cloud everything else, all of our other thoughts, interactions and decisions. And by documenting them, you begin to free yourself from them. Since I do this regularly, there’s not much there, honestly. I think you’ll find the same.
All right, once I finish this, I move on to step three: externalizations. I document anything where I’m blaming something or someone else for my situation. Family, colleagues, the economy, the government… It can also be personal: age, moments of doubt, feelings of overwhelm, a health condition.
Instead of owning it and doing the work inside myself to be effective, regardless of circumstance, I find these externalizations tend to be the perfect turnaround – which means what I don’t like in the world is my inner work. I list out the person, place or thing and what about that person, place or thing I’m focused on.
And as I write them – here’s the key – I voice them as statements of forgiveness. So it might be I forgive my wife for blank, I forgive my kids for blank… my neighbor for… my colleague for… I forgive myself for moments of doubt. I forgive officials in government for… you get the idea.
Now again, this whole thing that I’m describing here goes quick, but it’s very powerful. And when done regularly, there’s less and less to deal with.
Once I’ve handled the externalizations and related forgiveness, I’m on to the last main step, step four: inner dialogue.
I’m sure you’ve heard phrases like, “No one is harder on me than I am,” “If someone else talked to me like I talk to myself, I’d run away from that person.” And there’s truth to that. You know, we can be really hard on ourselves – brutal, extremely critical. And so this step is about acknowledging the things I’m saying to myself that are limiting or even cruel.
Now, we all do this. But this inner dialogue is sort of like the programming that’s running our minds most of the time. It informs our perceptions. It’s what allows 10 different people to perceive a situation in 10 different ways, radically different ways. And it leads us to see separation from others… contraction and fearful things… not lead a rich and full and wonderful life in those moments.
Now, I’ve written about this before, but this step is where I list out any limiting thoughts I’ve had about myself in the last 24 hours. Then I write another sentence right next to that that is more empowering and true. So, “I am not X,” let’s say, turns into “I am X, Y and Z.” Or I’ll just write evidence that disproves the initial “I am not X” thought right next to it.
Having gone through these four steps, there’s one last thing I do. It’s a bonus step. At this point I’ve cleared out any clutter that was pressuring, distorting or distracting my mind. But I also want to leave this daily practice on a high note.
So I’ll give you two ways to do this – I vary them. The first one is I simply list out three things I really want to do, feel or experience that day – but I write them as though they’ve already happened.
So “I lost myself in laughter with my kids,” “I took a walk and allowed myself to be immersed in my senses,” “I had three hours of deep, focused work on something important.” So that’s one way.
The second is called life-streaming. Life-streaming is very simple. This is where you think of a great day that happened in your life, and you pick a specific moment in that day which was especially amazing. And then you write a paragraph, three or four sentences, about what that moment felt like.
This does a couple things. If you allow yourself to connect with that moment, you’ll leave the exercise feeling energized and ready for the day, often. But you also start to realize how many moments you can recount in everyday life that were wonderful, and your mind starts to look for them and see them more and more and more.
All right, I know this was a lot, but again, this process takes no more than like 15 minutes. Usually, it’s not even close to that. And it’s something I’ve come to believe in after a lot of trial and error.
So I invite you to give it a shot and hope it helps you live a richer life, as it has for me.
Click the button below or the link in the email and shoot me a note. Let me know what you thought of this.
And just in summary, real quick, there are four parts to this practice. And it all revolves around daily mental hygiene. Step one is priming using gratitude. I connect with the good things in life. Step two, I address any fears I’ve had. I personally use seven categories, which I’ll list in the link to document. Step three is externalizations. Is there anything I’m blaming for my circumstances that needs to be dealt with or called out? Step four, inner dialogue – anything unkind or limiting I’ve said to myself in the last 24 hours.
And then finally, finish on a high note by listing three things I’d like to accomplish that day stated in the past tense as if they already happened… or life-streaming, writing a paragraph about an incredible moment in life.
All right. That’s it. I hope you enjoyed this and until next time, this has been Survive and Thrive.
Thank you.